Download A Man's Guide to Pregnancy: How to live with a Pregnant by John Zakour PDF

By John Zakour

John Zakour is a humor author with a Master's measure in Human habit. He writes the syndicated comedian "Working Daze" and has written a SF trilogy for Daw books. John is living in Geneva, long island.

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E-book Details:

ISBN: 0385535325
EAN: 9780385535328
ASIN: 0385535325
Publisher: Doubleday
Publication Date: 2013-11-05
Number of Pages: 272
Website: Amazon, LibraryThing, Google Books, Goodreads

Synopsis from Amazon:
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Additional resources for A Man's Guide to Pregnancy: How to live with a Pregnant Person (and get out of it alive)

Sample text

Cesarean birth: just be glad you’re a man. Colostrum: it looks kind of gross, but never tell your wife this. 44 Contractions: the things that hurt. Craving: really, really, longing to eat something that seems really, really, bizarre to a non-pregnant person. Crib: the thing you’ll be spending most of your nights awake beside. Death threats: you may get a couple of these from your wife through the course of labor. Don’t sweat it though; very few wives follow up on these threats. Delivery: what the doctor will charge you for.

So, there’s not much you can do about this. There are a few things to remember here though. First off, don’t look at it as losing a wife, think of it as gaining a child. Remember, children have all sorts of benefits: They make good tax breaks. They are fun to play with. They give your wife somebody else to get mad at besides you. They make you feel extra manly knowing you are passing half your genes onto the future. When they get a bit older they will think you are perfect no matter how much of a screwup you are.

Why this works for the baby is pretty obvious, they get fed. This works for your wife as she gets the pleasure of knowing she is taking care of her baby’s needs on a very personal one-to-one level. ) This works for you because—quite simply—you don’t have breasts. , and so on, there’s not a lot you can do about it. So if you like your sleep, it’s best to encourage your wife to breast-feed for as long as possible. You can also look at this time of life as your chance to watch all those TV shows you like but your wife doesn’t.

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