Download 101 Things To Do Before You Die by Celestine Chua PDF

By Celestine Chua

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Sample text

And topping the topmost of the bill, none other than England’s best-loved entertainer, Mr Harry ‘Hurty-Finger ‘Hamilton. Four billings up from the now legendary Travelling Formbys and three above the remarkable Lovell’s Acrobatic Kiwis, Harry bestrode the London stage as a colossus, admired by men, adored by women. A smile, a song and a damaged digit — how could it get better than that? Tonight, Harry, all dapper in tailcoat and topper, would sing his heart out and raise the crowd to a standing ovation.

The auditorium boasted seating for three thousand people in the most exquisite surroundings imaginable. Electrically lit and lavishly appointed, it was truly a marvel of the modern age. But— There were certain folk who expressed certain doubts. The Society columnist of The Times newspaper, for instance. He had coined a new term to describe the interior of the Electric Alhambra: ‘Architectural Sesquipedalianism’. Words such as ‘grandiloquent’, ‘overblown’, ‘ostentatious’ and, indeed, ‘intemperate’, flowed from his steam-powered fountain pen and figured large in his repertoire of damnation for this ‘Monstrous Testament to Bad Taste’.

4 olonel Katterfelto returned to the communal dressing room. To receive a standing ovation. Somewhat taken aback and drop-jawed by this unexpected applause, the old campaigner gratefully received the penny cigar that Peter Pinkerton, the Piebald Prestidigitator, pushed into his mouth. And sucked greedily upon it, once lit. Surely these artistes had made some mistake. The colonel was rightfully bewildered. ‘It is this way, sir,’ said Alice Lovell, made lovelier by the white ringmaster’s uniform that hugged her where a lady should be hugged.

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