Fatherhood: 15 months

Monday November 03rd 2008, 09:19 pm

Lately I’ve been feeling like I have so much on my mind, that forming a concise, focused blog entry seems impossible to do. With so much going on, and so many issues to deal with all the time, it could be easy to overlook some of these precious moments that I have with Darwin while he’s so young. Luckily I think I do a good job at keeping that perspective.

Since I’m a generally negative person, I spend plenty of time thinking about bad things, sad things, and just all around negative shit that I feel is sure to come my way. One of the most popular negativities in my brain is the idea that I won’t be able to have the close relationship with Darwin that I want so badly to have. It isn’t a complete fabrication of course; I get reminded fairly often that “things won’t always be this way”, referring to when he gets a little older and I’m no longer able to spend every day with him. Trust me when I tell you that I will be crushed when that day comes. I already shed tears just thinking about it. I want my relationship with Darwin to be as different from the relationship between my father and I as I can possibly make it.

Anyway, Darwin is awesome. At 15 months old he is running full speed through the house, park, mall, bookstore and anywhere else he’s let loose. He’s extremely curious about his surroundings, his favorite playthings are anything that he isn’t allowed to touch, and he has almost no fear or concern for his own well-being. As far as speaking goes, he regularly uses: mama, dada, baba, shoe, book, ball, and a few others. Unfortunately, the ear infections that plagued him through his early months have continued to be a problem. He’s now scheduled to have surgery to insert tubes into his ears in a couple of weeks. I’m told it’s a very common procedure, and that he should feel much better afterward. It’s a little worrisome, but I’m just anxious to have him be pain free since he’s spent most of his little life with these nagging ear infections on top of teething, constantly falling down, and all the other inherent hardships that come with learning how to function on planet Earth.

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Darwin has autism.

Last week, Darwin had a “full team evaluation” at The Children’s Hospital Of Philadelphia. He met with 4 different therapists and doctors who led him through various tests, engaging him in different ways to evaluate his behavior as it relates to the Autism Spectrum. Today, his mother and I met with the team again to discuss their observations, the diagnosis, and the recommended treatment.

The diagnosis is autism. Point blank, no bones about it. Does an atomic bomb do just as much damage if you see it coming? Yes it does.

Something is up with Darwin

Before Darwin, I’d never spent any considerable time around young children. So once he was born, every day proved to be a new experience, which is still the case. Because of that, I didn’t have a great basis for comparison between him and any other “normal” kid. But once he became slightly more mobile and I started to see him in the context of playing with or near other children, I started to notice differences. Subtle differences maybe, but I saw them. I was told that I was being paranoid, and that he was totally fine.

Yesterday

amazon (feed #10)
3:31am

September 4th

amazon (feed #10)
12:28am

September 3rd

amazon (feed #10)
11:20pm

September 1st

amazon (feed #10)
9:34pm

August 29th

amazon (feed #10)
11:01am

August 27th

amazon (feed #10)
Wants 2 items.
4:30pm

August 26th

twitter (feed #12)
Machete was pretty damn good. Lots of boobs, and Michelle Rodriguez looked awesome.
11:34pm
twitter (feed #12)
Yo Bobby's Burger Palace is crazy.
9:35pm
twitter (feed #12)
Machete screening in West Philly.
6:48pm
amazon (feed #10)
3:31pm
twitter (feed #12)
The thought that I might never get to have a "normal", meaningful conversation with my son really bums me out.
11:51am
twitter (feed #12)
10:31am
twitter (feed #12)
Still mourning the loss of the old Muxtape? Get familiar with http://8tracks.com/ (via @lendamico)
10:31am

August 25th

twitter (feed #12)
Oh shit, I just got a DVD and flyer in the mail autographed by Dangerous Toys!
10:52am
twitter (feed #12)
Autism is seriously bumming me out today.
10:09am

August 24th

amazon (feed #10)
1:35pm
twitter (feed #12)
Mother Love Bone - Chloe Dancer / Crown Of Thorns - Live 1989 • http://t.co/AwIYoaB
1:28pm
twitter (feed #2)
12:54pm
twitter (feed #12)
I like the Contra album. Whatever!
9:02am

August 23rd

twitter (feed #12)
Awesome. My household income just became $0. No pressure.
5:52pm
twitter (feed #12)
See the Statue of Liberty being built • http://t.co/TNVY6bR
4:28pm
twitter (feed #12)
I hear of an album, google it, and illegally DL it in less than 5 minutes. I love the internet!
1:31pm
twitter (feed #12)
Also, Jason McMaster sounded like a crazy Rob Halford/Kind Diamond when he was in Watchtower.
1:26pm
amazon (feed #10)
12:25pm

August 21st

amazon (feed #10)
10:27am

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