Full Disclosure. Well, almost.

I’ve had tons of heavy shit going on in my life over the last several months, and tons of heavy shit that is going to continue for some time. Here we go.

WORK: My main source of income over the last 2 years has been my daytime Music Production teaching gig. By the end of the year, I had a solid schedule in place, and I was making enough money to cover my ass and put a few bucks in the bank. Due to all kinds of bullshit at the school that has nothing to do with me, this coming school year is kind of up in the air. I still have a job, but I will certainly be losing some hours, and therefore, some money. There’s a possibility that the dude who was my boss at the school (Joe S.) will be doing an after-school program, which would be great. Oh yeah, I also just wrapped up a 3-week Summer Program at his studio in East Falls. He has a non-profit organization called Philadelphia Young Artist (PYA), and the program was made up mostly of kids from my school. We made jams for three weeks and then had a final show this past Saturday. It went well.

Here’s a video of some of the kids hanging out before the PYA finale:

The kids completed 8 or 9 songs over the three weeks, here are a couple of them:

Kachina & Mercedes (Royal Black) / “Love Me”
[audio:pya_love_me.mp3]

Turquoise / “Why?”
[audio:pya_why.mp3]

RELATIONSHIP: Ugh. This is hard to write about. It’s been the main thing on my mind for much of the last few years, but I’m usually unable to write about it openly because I try to respect the fact that it involves someone else. I have to walk that line while still feeling like I can express myself openly.

I was in a very intense relationship with the mother of my child on and off for 9 years. We loved each other more than we thought possible, but through it all we remained very different people with very different personalities that clashed much of the time. There are countless specific issues, but to summarize, we basically just couldn’t get along as well as people should get along to remain in a healthy relationship. The addition of Darwin caused every aspect of our existence together to become instantly more important. We could carry on, fighting, for years and years to come. And if not for Darwin, there’s a pretty realistic chance that we would do just that. But early this month, I was told to leave. The real, final, end of our relationship was imposed upon me, and I was told very explicitly that I was to go live elsewhere. It hurt, as everything always did, but I agreed with the idea that we had tried about as many times as any couple could.

In the end, I could have gone along with forcing it together, but chose not to. The main reason that I chose not to, is Darwin of course. I love that little boy so much, and the thought of him being poisoned by all the negativity that would very probably surround him just breaks my heart. I just can’t do it. I truly feel like his Mother and I will get along better this way if she allows us to. She’s a good person, and is very emotional, so right now things are pretty raw. These days I find myself on the wrong end of all that emotion pretty often. I’m just hoping it will all pass so the three of us can move on in a healthier way, and enjoy watching our beautiful son grow.

I am a single Father. Weird.

THE BATCAVE: Since it’s the end of the month, it was time for me to leave the apartment. On Monday I started looking for apartments on craigslist. By Tuesday afternoon, I had signed a lease and moved in. The process of moving is never fun, especially under the heavy emotional drama that surrounded this particular situation. It was all made possible by Anthony and Tricia. From the start, Anthony was totally willing to help me move, and at the last minute I asked Tricia if we could make use of her truck, and she never thought twice about it. I really appreciate them coming through for me that way.

So, the apartment… actually, the Batcave. It is an underground lair, right under the noses of the unsuspecting citizens of Norwood, PA. Once completed it will be filled wall to wall with amazing functional technology, a one-of-a-kind art collection, and plenty of random Darwin toys. There will be very little food, and at least one pizza box always in sight.

If anyone is willing to help clean the place, or can donate something useful to the cause, please feel free to do so. Once it’s functional, I’ll have some kind of housewarming get together. Y’know, so no one can come. It will rule!

2 Responses to Full Disclosure. Well, almost.

  1. Janet says:

    Ending relationships is always difficult, especially after so many years. In your case, though, you share Darwin and he’s the most important thing in both your lives. Because of him, your relationship will never really end – it’s just changed. I think you made the right decision, not that it’s any of my business, but I was a front row spectator to “staying together for the kids” and it did NOT make for a happy childhood.

    What are you looking for in terms of stuff for the batcave? We’ve been cleaning house like nobodies business and we’re throwing out a lot of stuff that we just don’t need anymore. I got some doubles of things for my wedding shower too, so I might be able to help out.

  2. Nicole says:

    What is it with everyone living in or around Norwood these days?

    Anyway, like Janet said, ending a relationship is always difficult, but sometimes you just do what you have to. At least this way Darwin can see two happy parents instead of two miserable ones, even if you no longer all live together. Overall that will be what’s best for him. At least at this stage in the game he’s not old enough to blame himself or anything like that, so when he’s old enough it should be easy to explain why Mommy and Daddy don’t live together.

    And when you are ready for that housewarming party, let me know. So long as I’ve got access to some wheels that night I’d like to come out. I wish I had some stuff to offer for the new place, but I’m not sure I have any extras, and won’t know til I move again in the fall.

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