I swear, I get myself into some of the most ridiculous situations. Currently, I’m in the throes of a rap battle with a group of teens called Kontraband.

It started like this; a few of the kids were working on a track, and needed someone to take the third verse. I was feeling spunky, so I spoke up, got on the mic, and “spit a verse”. Apparently it was pretty good, compared to whatever the kids thought I would sound like if I ever tried to rap. I saw jaws drop in excitement and surprise as I made my way through my 16 bars. When I finished and stepped out of the booth (closet), I got high fives, hugs, handshakes, and all kinds of urban-youth-type celebrations. Pretty funny stuff. I made a comment to a student named Will (rap name: Still Will), that he really didn’t want to follow my badass verse, because it would make him look bad. Right there, the seed was planted. I had now challenged his hip hop manhood. Uh oh. But it didn’t stop there. Shortly after, I heard him make a comment about how he “should be an R&B rapper”. Well, I had to point out to him that once he heard my amazing verse, he immediately retired into the land of R&B raps. Again, a shot to his ego. It was on.

A day or so later, he fired the first shot. Still Will, along with another kid named Akeem put together a barely titled track that was labeled “Still Will dis track”. Akeem’s freestyle verse wasn’t aimed at me at all, but Will called out Dark Disco Club on his intro, and made some comments about me in the last verse. Pretty tame, but still a dis track.

Track 1: Still Will dis track

Once I heard the DDC comment, I knew I had to respond. I chose to use the beat from “Lyrical Gangbang” as the bed for my track in keeping with the mix-tape style. Rather than be completely random, I think I put together some pretty thoughtful lyrics. For example, I started my first verse partially borrowing a line from Lady of Rage who opened the original version of this track. I closed that line by pointing out that I would be doing my dissing “without a cuss”, because I tell my kids not to curse so damn much on the motherfuckin’ songs. I made it a point to call out Still Will by name on several occasions to make my jabs all that more pointed. I start my second verse with “straight offa the dome”, which is a line Will used in a song of his, and I just always tease him and sing that line. I thought pushing it back in his face this way would be a nice touch. I also made it a point to mention his whole R&B rap fiasco. In the last verse I called out a few Kontraband members by name as well as saying “…Kontraband, alla y’all”. Well that did it. I had now officially called out all of them, not just Will. Oh my. Have a listen.

Track 2: Where you at, Kontraband?

One day after they heard my track for the very first time, Kontraband fired back. This time it was Calvin (aka Prior Knowledge) on the mic alongside Still Will. Apparently my track hit pretty close to home, because this time they came out hard. Not only do they dig on DDC a few times, but they just get all kinds of personal in their attacks on me. There’s too much to even cover in this one, so dig the creatively titled “Joe sucks”.

Track 3: Joe sucks

Trust me, it isn’t over. I’ll update this post as things progress.


  1. Leigh says:

    This is pretty much the best thing ever.

  2. kate says:

    You are a mastermind at fueling their creativity, whether you realize it or not.
    They are lucky to have you!

  3. Printy Spazy says:

    This made me feel happy.

  4. Krystal says:

    Hearing you rap makes me giggle.

  5. heidi says:

    Brilliant… absolutely brilliant.

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