Monthly Archives: December 2007

note to self: lie

darwin hand

I can’t win. Whenever I think I’m doing the right thing, I’m shown that it is wrong. As horrible and sad as it sounds, I get the feeling that the only way for me to survive the gauntlet of my daily life is to lie and hide every harmless step I take. And really, as far from perfect as I am, I don’t usually think I have much to hide. I’m a generally good person, with good intentions, and I usually have a handle on the difference between right and wrong. Despite all of that, I am in a situation that defies all logic, and me doing “the right thing” gets me nowhere. I feel like my only options are to carry around lies and bullshit forever… or lose everything. It’s a no-win situation for sure, and it is taking its toll on me.

Srp interviews Joseph

I’m not sure if this has ever been posted. If it has, sorry. It’s an interview that Srp did with me around March of 2005 (I think) for a school project. Toward the end I tell a sex story. [audio:srp_interviews_joseph.mp3]

Amazing Depressing Song of the Day

[audio:aic_dirt.mp3] I have never felt such frustration Or lack of self control I want you to kill me And dig me under, I wanna live no more One who doesn’t care is one who shouldn’t be I’ve tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me For me I want to taste dirty, aContinue Reading

I HATE

I think I am officially “an angry person”. I was an angry teenager, that’s for sure, but it’s not a way I would have described myself over the last 10 years. Usually. But for whatever reason, that’s what I am now. I feel genuinely angry at everything, and everyone. I find myself fucking with peopleContinue Reading

DISASTER STRIKES!

Everything is wrong. Seriously. The construction of my new studio is now in serious jeopardy thanks to Ridley Township and their endless red tape bullshit. When I first attempted to drop off my permit applications, they told me they would be declined unless I included some detailed illustrations of the construction plans. I went backContinue Reading