Here’s a basic rundown of my morning.
I went to bed at about 1:15 AM. I fell asleep sometime after 2, only to be woken at around 5. The woman was short of breath, having some extremely bad back pain, and some “stabbing” chest pain to match. I asked if she wanted to go to the hospital, but she avoided it for a few minutes. She paged the Baby-Doctor, and his people suggested going to the Emergency Room (like I had already suggested). Off we went.
And man, if you ever need to go to the ER, bring a pregnant woman with you. It is a drastically different experience for sure. We were in a room with a brain-having nurse before we even had a chance to sit down or fill out a form. Amazing. Anyway, several different hospital-types came in the room to perform various tests, including taking her blood pressure about 79 times. After a pretty solid wait, blood test results came back, and they came back positive. As we all know, blood test results are the one time in life when “positive” is actually quite negative. I forget exactly what it tested positive for, but basically it was something that led one doctor to tell us “We’re concerned that you may have a blood clot in your lung”. SAY WHAT DOC!? Yeah, a fucking blood clot in her pregnant-girl lung, also known as a Pulmonary Embolism
He then tells us that the next step would normally be a CT Scan of the lungs, to see if there is in fact a blood clot. The problem there is the fact that a CT Scan scatters all kinds of radiation all up in the patient, and in this case, the patients as-yet-unborn child. That’s generally considered a no-no. So now the options we’re faced with are:
A) Don’t do the test, and let Mom and baby die from a blood clot.
B) Do the test, and risk turning the baby into the incredible Hulk or some shit.
We opt for the test. And after another long wait, the results came back negative (which is a positive). So we’re about 95% sure that there is no Pulmonary Embolism. The discomfort and breathing issues could simply be caused by the baby growing and pushing on the diaphragm and just generally causing trouble in there.
Imagine that. My son, a troublemaker.