art vs. art

I moved into this lame apartment at the very end of January, and as of April 9, I have yet to unpack 95% of my art supplies. I haven’t drawn, painted, sewn, or printed a single thing. I worked so hard toward grad school, and had so much riding on that whole thing. When my efforts failed, it really knocked the wind out of me and made me start questioning what I should be doing. I haven’t really settled on any definitive answer, but I think it’s probably pretty obvious.

Balancing between my art and my music has always been an issue for me. I’ve rarely been able to have both functioning at the same time, so it’s just a matter of going back and forth between the two, with the focus on one lasting months if not a year or more. When I want to focus on my art for whatever reason, I find that I usually have to pry myself away from making music. I have to actually try to unnaturally force myself to stop recording or playing shows. I should stop that.

Once UArts fucked me over, I threw myself back into my music. I rebuilt my band, started making some noises, and now we have a new CD coming out less than a year since the last one came out. I love making music, I love playing music, and I even love teaching music production. Why the fuck have I never pursued that in a more serious way? Like a degree in music production or something. I don’t know. I’m sick and delirious, so I’m gonna stop writing for fear of rambling on too long.

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