if you want an audience, start a fight

I’m having problems. As hard is it is to believe for a person like me, I’m having trouble finding my voice. Generally speaking, I’ve never been a very prolific artist. I’d like to gain some control over my output and become more consistent, but like I said, I’m feeling a little lost.

A look through my portfolio shows that much of my stuff seems pretty random, for lack of a better word. And while in my mind it really isn’t as random as it may look, I’d like to somehow make the connections more obvious… more cohesive. Or do I? Shit, I don’t even know. I have a lot of ideas and feelings that I need to sort out, and I have questions that I need to answer for myself. A large part of this will require that I just spend more time putting pen/pencil/brush/gocco to paper and working it out. There are other elements that I’d love to see fall into place, but that’s the one I can control.

And before I forget, let me state that I really miss hanging out with Rebecca. She’s way busy I guess, and much of that probably involves the fact that she has a steady man in her life now. I’m totally happy for her, but like I said, I miss being able to hang out and bond as friends as well as trying to absorb some much needed knowledge and perspective from her. I don’t have many (any?) other “artist” friends, and surely none that I hold in such high regard. The seasons will change soon, so maybe her schedule will too.

What else? Oh yeah, this weekend was the Pennsylvania Dutch Festival at Reading Terminal Market. I don’t know why, but these PA Dutch people make the best food. Normally a doughnut or some peach jam isn’t something to get all excited about, but when these folks come to town, look out! I pigged out like the fat guy I am becoming.

In closing: Banksy is cool, Rebecca is missing, my band sucks, and it’s really nice outside so that’s where I’m going.

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