ERIC SUCKS.
That was the theme of the night. Tonights rehearsal started with Eric hanging his head in shame as we listened back painfully to his performance at the Trocadero show, and it ended with him singling himself out yet again when we tried to hang out together LIKE HE FUCKING ASKED FOR. None of us understand exactly why he wants nothing to do with us outside of rehearsal and stage time, and personally I don’t care why. I would accept him being a complete douche if his on-stage performances were mind-bogglingly great, but surely, they are far from it. In fact, they’ve been the polar opposite. The combination of fucked up singing and fucked up social behavior leads me to believe we’ve found our next ex-singer. Maybe he’ll prove me wrong, but I see a downward spiral happening here.

Our new record is on iTunes now, CHECK IT OUT.

I’ve had plenty to write about lately, but almost all of it is shit that’s been said here 900 times already. Like my band being a bunch of lazy fuckers whose main talent is excuse-making, me being broke, you know… the usual stuff.

Today is a bit of a milestone in my life. Not a huge deal, but the couple that lives in this apartment will take a few moments to recognize it. Hopefully I’ll have a good night tonight. I’ve had way too many shitty nights lately.

And before I forget again, here are a couple articles of mine on Crave:
• AFI review
• Interview with Vinnie Paul

I’ve done some interviews recently to support the release of the new Dark Disco Club cd. In one, I was asked “Does the band still remain as just your project with hired guns?”. The answer is yes, but I lied about it. I always lie about it. I lie to myself about it, I lie to my bandmates about it, and I lie to pretty much everyone that asks. I want so badly for it to not be true, but on some days it’s just too hard to ignore.

Today there was an event that provided a valuable, educational, networking and promotional opportunity to bands like mine. I mentioned it to the guys in my band, and not one was interested in taking part. The same way they don’t take part in promotion of any kind, booking, or pretty much anything else. To make it worse, all of our CD’s and merch are down in the burbs with them, so I had to be the only guy there with nothing to sell or give away. I couldn’t have been there for more than 10 minutes before someone recognized me and asked to buy our new cd. I had to turn him down.

The next notable encounter was with a girl who saw our recent performance at the Trocadero. I asked “What did you think?”. “I thought the music was really good… but you really need a new lead singer”, she replied. I was disappointed with her answer, but not surprised, and I appreciated her honesty. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard almost the same exact thing. This show was an important one. It was at a good venue which is rare for us, it was in front of a larger than average crowd, as well as members of the press, and it was to be recorded and put together for a DVD project of some kind. Eric and Anthony handed in performances that ensured the recordings could not be used. Tom didn’t help any with his tired, predictable watch-me-jump-off-the stage-during-Antarchy bullshit, but we expect that from him. His live performance responsibilities are kept minimal enough that they aren’t missed all that much if he chooses not to play them. But that isn’t the case for the lead vocals, or for parts when one guitar part is on prominent display; like the very beginning or very end of Burn To Breathe. Basically it was a great chance for us to rock a great show and document it all, and it was ruined.

And yes, this album is called THE END.

Fuck being nice. Seriously, it never seems to get me anywhere. I thought that letting that huge stinking fur dispenser live with me was a pretty big sacrifice on my part, but it has brought me nothing but trouble. It makes my apartment stink and leaves it covered with fur. It keeps us up all night with its annoying whining. And it has transformed my Ramp from an exciting sexual playground into an inconvenient barrier used to block him from entering my bedroom. Now aside from the face-value suckiness of that, what do you think happens when two people have been up all night, every night, yelling at a cat because he won’t shut up. Yeah, it’s like cats and dogs. And apparently I’m the only dog in the fuckin house.

What else? Oh yeah, Kelly Graf hasn’t spoken to me since June 7th because I wrote “A few people came out to my opening tonight, but of course the list of people who didn’t come is far more telling. If I cared enough to call each one and mention it, I’m certain that every single one would have an excuse as to why they would have loved to come but just couldn’t make it.”. Since she’s a girl she assumed I was talking specifically about her and told me that I was “stomping my feet” and “throwing a tantrum”, all because of that line right there. I laughed it off, because you know how girls can be. I just thought it was noteworthy that she’s had her panties so bunched by all this that she actually stopped talking to me after like 10 years over it. She also skipped our once-in-a-lifetime cd release show at the Troc. So be it.

I went to see CirqueDuSoleil on Friday night. The show this time around is called Quidam. It was awesome. In fact, of the three or four different shows I’ve seen, I think this was my favorite. The show got off to an unusual start, as Rosa and I were looking for our seats, slightly lost. Mind you, the show hadn’t started yet, but the house was packed. One of the performers came over to us, supposedly to help find our seats. Well once he got to us, the spotlight dropped right down on us. It followed as he led us in completely the opposite direction, then back again. Then he led me, up some stairs and out the door. I’m like “what the fuuu…”, and as I turn around, the guy is halfway across the venue with my woman in his arms, placing her into a seat. So I start walking over there, and he meets me halfway. He then grabbed some random girl who was also looking for her seat, picked her up, and placed her in my arms. Eventually I put down the girl and we found our proper seats. Like I said, the show was awesome.

Everything since then, has sucked complete ass and made me feel like I should throw myself in front of a bus. We’ll see how that goes.

In an effort to mitigate their own carbon emissions while raising the public’s carbon consciousness, PEARL JAM today announced the launch of their 2006 Carbon Portfolio Strategy. Through this Strategy, the band will donate a total of $100,000 to nine organizations doing innovative work around climate change, renewable energy, and the environment.

“We established the Carbon Portfolio Strategy in the hopes of creating new models for businesses like ours looking to invest in the future health of our planet and its delicate ecosphere,” said Stone Gossard of PEARL JAM. “Our Carbon Portfolio Strategy unites the combined efforts of nine diverse groups all approaching the issue of carbon in distinctive and unique ways. We hope that by highlighting and creating a commons for these groups, we can help to advance a broad and synergistic strategy that encourages preservation of existing ecosystems, restoration of degraded environments, and broad stimulus for clean, renewable energy technologies.”

Since 2003, PEARL JAM has employed a variety of approaches — including rainforest preservation and the use of pure bio-diesel for their 2006 U.S. tour — to help offset carbon emissions produced by the band’s tours and day-to-day business operations. The Carbon Portfolio Strategy builds on these earlier efforts by helping advance clean renewable energy and carbon mitigation. “We are honored to be part of this collaborative effort and would like to express our gratitude for the leadership and passion of all these diverse groups,” remarked Gossard.

The nine organizations supported by the Carbon Portfolio Strategy are:

* American Solar Energy Society
* Bonneville Environmental Foundation
* Cascade Land Conservancy
* Conservation International
* EarthCorps
* Green Empowerment
* Honor the Earth
* IslandWood
* Washington Clean Energy Initiative

While the PEARL JAM Carbon Portfolio Strategy has national and international components, the band’s initial focus is on the Pacific Northwest since it is their home. By identifying and supporting leaders in the environmental community, they hope to raise this region’s carbon consciousness while also investing in a clean energy future.

Part of the band’s goal is to encourage Northwest businesses and individuals to invest in these and other leading environmental organizations. Interested businesses and individuals can learn more about these organizations, calculate their own carbon emissions, and become part of the PEARL JAM Carbon Portfolio Strategy by visiting www.pearljam.com/activism.

The band encourages people outside the Pacific Northwest to identify and support leaders in their own community leading the charge for clean and renewable energy. In addition, the band hopes that everyone will take a close look at how their daily activities contribute to the increasing amounts of carbon emissions in the air.

For several years now, PEARL JAM has been committed to offsetting the carbon output produced by their tours. In 2003, the band joined forces with Conservation International to offset 5,700 tons of CO2 emissions released from trucks, buses, airplane travel, hotel rooms, concert venues — and the estimated one million fans driving to and from the concerts — by creating and managing a new protected area in the rainforest of Makira, Madagascar. Protecting forests, which naturally store carbon, helps prevent the release of nearly a quarter of world’s annual the greenhouse gas emissions caused by deforestation and other land-use changes.

Additionally, Stone Gossard and his wife Liz Weber spearheaded an effort on the 2004 Vote for Change tour called the “Vote for Change Renewable Energy Project” that raised $77,000 to fund a variety of small-scale renewable energy projects in several of the states the tour traveled through. The DAVE MATTHEWS BAND, BONNIE RAITT, PEARL JAM and Stone Gossard individually donated money to this effort, which was overseen by the Bonneville Environmental Foundation. To date, the Vote for Change Renewable Energy Project has installed four solar photovoltaic power systems in states across the U.S., with four additional systems set for completion by the end of 2006. For more information on these projects, visit http://www.b-e-f.org/renewables/index.shtm.

In addition to the Carbon Portfolio Strategy, PEARL JAM are working to offset carbon emissions from their 2006 U.S. tour by using B100 — pure bio-diesel — in all production trucks on their 2006 U.S. tour and for their buses on leg two of this tour. B100 reduces emissions of carbon monoxide by approximately 50% and carbon dioxide by 78% on a net lifecycle basis. In contrast to fossil fuels, which release new carbon previously sequestered in the earth’s crust, the carbon in B100 emissions is recycled from carbon already present in the atmosphere. The ultimate goal in all of these efforts is to get PEARL JAM at 0% net emissions for tours and business operations.

Not to mention the fact that they totally rule and the new record is one of the best ever.

That is what an Oxygen 8 midi controller looks like after it has been lit on fire. Those little knobs really light up good.

This is another one of those times when I feel like I have things to say, but can’t seem to find the words. I swear shit has been going on, but… what? Let’s see. The DDC album is finished finally, and I should have the completed booklets for them today or tomorrow. Needless to say I’m glad to have it finished. This Sunday is when it becomes officially available, at our show at the Trocadero Theater in Philly. Anyone who doesn’t come is a complete douchebag.

Aside from that I guess not much is going on. My 4th of July festivities were ruined by various different factors, so I won’t dwell on that. But yeah, it sucked.